I thought, I know

A snowy day, 

Mind trapped by whiteness.

I shook off the snow,

But the frozen temperature left on

fingertips, to heart.

I thought I could let go,

  collecting pieces of red hearts,

  dropping the tears,

  Leaving invisible mark.

I thought I regret choosing Canada,

  For you still far away,

  Beyond my reach,

  Losing you to change.

I thought I could keep you in the dangling moon,

  Glaring on my neck,

  Reminding me your love,

  Like crystal never fade.

I thought my eyes shining,

  Grabs your attention that carves your heart,

  Giving you brightness when it is dark,

  Just as how your praise warmed me.

I thought you care,

  Or at least I could teach you how,

  Never forget I Love U in red,

  Making everything blur.

I thought I could know you,

  With your heart closed to me,

  Tracing every word you leave,

  Using intelligence as a secret digger.

But now, I know…

I know toughness not with me,

  Heart beating fast and slow,

  Stretching and shrinking spirit,

  Still licking bleeding wound, alone.

I know I still regret choosing Canada,

  For I can’t throw dirty words on your face,

  Stirring and destroying,

  And can’t make you regret leaving.

I know the moon is high upon,

  Only shining in the sky,

  Reminding me our non-existing love,

  As you denied as impulse.

I know my eyes still shining,

  Without you feeling the brightness,

  You said don’t love me no more,

  Dare not seeing into my eyes.

I know you don’t treasure at all,

  Warm words and caring love can’t reach your heart,

  Or you so blind to care,

  Leaving me nothing but disappointment.

I know I can’t catch you up,

  You think I am country girl,

  Can’t understand your new exciting life,

  And I, am the worthless past.

I thought we had long way to go,

To be happily ever after.

Now, I only know we have nowhere to go,

Pretending nothing happened, 

Loving my cold cold heart.